People Magnet- is there even such a thing ?
You may look at so many examples of extreme success and wonder whether it was skill , luck , attitude, persistence or some other personal trait that set them apart. I surely did .
But when I started digging information on all those who inspire me, I realised that for every success story there are 100 or 1000 other stories about equally driven, talented, ambitious, skilled people which never saw the light of that glorious day. These stories landed up being like those books in your shelves which never gets opened or reviewed or spoken about. Dusty & forgotten with time. So what was different about the ones who made it to the top , something that is actually the COMMON THREAD between them all.
YES THERE IS — SOMEONE TOOK A LIKING TO THEM !!!! As simply put as I’d come to believe.
At the age of 30, Amitabh has 12 flops , 2 hits (one as lead in Bombay to Goa and as supporting role in Anand). When Zanjeer was written by Salim-Javed, it was turned down by many actors then who considered it against their romantic hero persona. Salim-Javed took a liking to Amitabh and introduced him to the movie director Mr. Prakash Mehra and insisted that he be cast in the lead role. It went on to win 4 Filmfare Awards, 9 nominations , 4 regional remakes and Amitabh never had to look back from his “Angry Young Man Persona” and he is going strong even today.
Deval Sahay took a liking to MS Dhoni when he was in his teens. Within 1 year, he moved from playing in CCL to playing for Bihar Ranji Team. And the India A happened from which Sourav Ganguly & Ravi Shastri spotted MS Dhoni and the rest is history.
Satish Mohan took it upon himself to be Geet Sethi’s coach and mentor. Geet eventually went on to win more than 20 championships , out of which 5are Professional World Championships of 1992, 1993, 1995, 1998 and 2006.
Richard Turner is the 2014 & 2017 recipient of the Close-Up Magician of the Year Award from Academy of Magical Arts, and is subject of the documentary DEALT. This is one of the best documentaries I have seen of a man who has entertained the world for years using card tricks BUT who himself cannot see. How did a blind teen take up cards and become a pro at it. It was Dai Vernon who took a liking to Richard and you have to hear it from Richard himself on his fascinating journey.
I was listening to a podcast of Stephen Shwarzman, Chairman and CEO of Blackstone Group, world’s biggest Private Equity player and he shares in his interview with Shane Parish that he was taken on board in his first Investment Bank job because the interviewer took a liking to him. 35 years in Banking now and owns one of the most prestigious Investment Banking labels out there.
These were talented , ambitious , skilled , enthusiastic people just like 1000s others who didn’t make it. But the one thing that stands out clearly is someone taking a chance on you, someone taking a liking for you, someone willing to bet on you. Just the way Dr. Dre betted everything on Eminem. Both were struggling when they came together. The movie Defiant Ones can take you on a journey of these two incredible gifted souls and what magic happened once they were together.
SOMEONE GOTTO TAKE A LIKING TO YOU !!!
You can’t work for it, you can’t prepare for it, you can’t plan for it, you can’t hope and pray for it. These ain’t strategies that you could reliably depend on. But there is one thing you can do that increases your odds of this serendipity.
And that is — BE DAMN GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO that it will be impossible for you not to get noticed by someone who has an eye for quality people. Yes that’s exactly what I meant — BE DAMN GOOD !!!
Now you might already be thinking that you are good, you are better than many, you are caring, you are loving, you are different , BUT your opinion doesn’t matter here. And things become worse when you have own biases which doesn’t let you see the whole picture without your own judgements and rationalisations mixed in. Dunning Kruger Effect exactly states this bias wherein people overestimate their own abilities resulting into illusory superiority which may just make you go lax at improving in your chosen field. No wonder it is said that Success is its own biggest enemy, cos success makes you go slow, get lax, get lazy. You stop doing what got you there in the first place. It’s tougher to handle Success compared to Failure. But sadly, it’s your blind spot and you don’t get to see it till it’s too late many a times.
What matters is do you stand out in your performance, in your reasoning, in your thinking, in your handling of relationships, in your work, in your work ethic, in your commitments. These ain’t the questions you should answer on your own for the very reasons explained above. These are questions you should ask at least 10 people around you , especially those you respect and admire . It is their feedback that would give you a perspective into how you are actually landing on others, what is the perception out there, what do the no.s tell about your work (every profession has its own evaluation metrics and I am sure yours has too), do people consider you dependable.
Feedback from the ones you look upto could give you an insight that you won’t get in a high cost MBA or from your best friends. But you will surely get this from people who don’t care to impress you but rather say the truth. And if you had the humility to take this feedback and work upon yourself day in day out, honing your craft, sharpening your skills, improving your relationships, getting better at the game you have chosen to grow in, it is almost inevitable that you will get recognised for your work and that in turn, will bring you more work, more opportunities, more recognition eventually turning into a life full of opportunities that people would do anything for. This is how it look’s when you turn into a PEOPLE MAGNET !!!
And in worst case scenario, if this wasn’t to be and someone didn’t take a liking to you or didn’t take you under their wings, I am sure that you can still go to sleep peacefully with the knowledge that you gave your best , you served well, you added value, you stood up for your beliefs, you loved and you respected others. This in itself, is a life lived well !!!
As they say, when life throws lemons at you, make a lemonade from it. This is key ingredient in all the names mentioned above. Hope I get to enjoy a lemonade with you someday soon :)
Love
Manish